Change....I want I want I want...

As gas prices sky rocket I find myself disliking change...


This morning I went to Casey's. I went inside and paid 20 bucks. I looked at the pump when it wasn't slowing down. At 21.12 I stopped the pumped. I walked inside and told them it didn't stop at 20. They said "Oh you have to stop it at 20" That's great but you could have told me that! What if I didn't have that $1.12??  At $3.25 a gallon I'm going to have to start riding my bike more. I miss going to Jost's Service in Hillsboro and having my gas pumped for me. I miss $10 getting me half a tank of gas.


 I drove by my Grandparents house in the country this morning. I didn't see smoke coming from the chimney. I didn't see cows walking around the pasture. I just saw a dark empty house. They moved to Newton a few months ago and placed the farm up for sale. I moved in to that house the same day they did. We didn't have carpet we didn't have good water. Many memories happened at that house. I tell myself it's just a house I still have my memories and Grandparents. Part of me wants to take pictures of the farm one more time. Part me wants to never go by it again because I don't want to remember it like that. I want to remember smoke coming out and the cows grazing.




This week I bought the supplies to make an angel food cake. My Great Grandma Ella made the best angel food cake ever. I have tried several times to use her recipe and they never measure up. Seriously, never. She had a special pan that made tall angel food cakes. I always requested rainbow sprinkles. When I try to put them in my own the cake falls. She always used a blue box of fluffy icing. Walmart and Dillons do not always carry the right brand so the icing doesn't taste right. It just isn't Grandma's. Grandma hasn't passed away. I can't bring myself to go visit her though. The last two times I saw her she didn't know who I was....I don't want to remember her like that. I want to remember making scrambled eggs with too much salt. I want to remember Sunday dinners with chicken and potatoes. Grandma always put tape on her forehead.She said that kept the wrinkle between your eyebrows from forming. I miss my Grandma.




I want to go back to thinking 2 dollars a gallon was to much for gas. I want mornings where I could run to the fireplace to warm up my toes. I want to look out and see my dog, Lassie (yes I know how original) wagging her tail at the doors. I want to see my horse, Star, eating grass in the pasture. I haven't seen those things in years. I want to see my Grandma smiling at me when she glanced up from her book. I want to get gas in my car without taking out a loan at the bank. 


I want my children to love their hometown, our home, and their Grandparents as much as I do.